Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
