The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
