Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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