My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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