guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
