508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You took a bar mat shot.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
