I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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