update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
