Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
false alarm, still single
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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