then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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