If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
