when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
