It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize