it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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