You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
