Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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