I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
