dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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