she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
