Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
