Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
