You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
