how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
