Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
