In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
