Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
3pm strippers are depressing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
