don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
