I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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