It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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