Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
