arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
