plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
