Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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