I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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