Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What a dumb baby whore.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
