it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize