where does the pee come out of this thing
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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