Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
