I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
