Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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