I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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