It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
