i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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