The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
