you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my being single is dangerous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
