reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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