you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
