Got a toothbrush?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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