So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
