does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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