apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
