I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
