Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
