the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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