Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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