God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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