This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
