Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
