he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
