Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
