I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
