I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
