I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
