I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
