he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
