I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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