if you like me you must not know who I am
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My vagina is officially offended.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
