Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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