i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
